Myrtle Beach Slamming the Door on Motorcycle Visitors!
Beach Town Considering Drawbridges as a Crazy Bunch of Local Whackos Hang Out
the "No Visitors Signs!"
First it was North Myrtle Beach airheads running off the Spring Breakers in the
early 1990s. Next it was the thousands of hair dressers, that flocked to Myrtle Beach in late
May every year being treated like a migration of hookers by locals, before
finally saying, Forget about you Myrtle Beach!
Then it was those wild and crazy Shriners, who were the next to fall victim to
the vacationer go home trailer park mentality that has so disgustingly
permeated this tourist town known far and wide as the Redneck Riviera, and
subsequently left for the more hospitable and open-minded resort town of
Virginia Beach, never to return. Well loyal reader, now the anything for a vote wackaloons and pinheads on the Myrtle Beach City Council and the corn pone snapperheads on Horry County Council are again groveling
at the feet of a small but viciously vocal crowd of pea-brained nutcases who are
now hell-bent on running off the vacationing motorcycle groups and individual riders who bring zillions
of much needed dollars to the Myrtle Beach area each May.
The Ban the motorcycle rider klan of kooks, in homage to their deceased whacko zealot hero, Jerry Falwell, are all scurrying around town dressed in their silly little lime-green t-shirts, that make them all look like a bunch of portly, blue-haired homos, (Dipsy, The Dipstick, was considered by Falwell and his minions to be
the gayest of all the Teletubbies), emblazoned with sophomoric drivel
like, "Stop the May-hem."
Last week, while the "Ban the motorcycle crowd" dimwits and the empty-headed suck-ups on
Myrtle Beach, Surfside Beach and North Myrtle Beach City Councils, along with
the rocket scientists on Horry County Council were holding an anti-biker
session, and whining about being inconvenienced and bemoaning the noise, their
unanimous Presidential pick, John McCain was, at the very same time, at the
Harley-Davidson motorcycle rally in Sturgis, South Dakota, telling 50,000 Harley motorcycle
aficionados that he preferred the roar of 50,000 Harley's over the cheers of a
couple hundred thousand Berliners, and that the sound of 50,000 roaring Harley's
was, The sound of freedom! McCain even talked about entering his surgically enhanced Barbie doll wife,
Cindy McCain, in the bikers x-rated Miss Buffalo Chip contest!
Besides being really stupid, this obvious stupidity is really scary, because
some of these Dunes Club based scalawags are so far out in left field that
sometimes their utterances can make, Joseph Goebbels, sound like Mr. Rogers.
It's amazing to "sane people" that these reprobates are actually allowed outside without
their protective helmets, much less allowed to play with sharp objects. Add to all this anti-tourism insanity, South Carolinas rampant and widely publicized homophobia, and the local yokel politicos are now considering
erecting medieval-like drawbridges over Myrtle Beach's man-made moat, known as
the Intracoastal Waterway, to prevent any of "those" kind of people from
entering the Myrtle Beach area.
The Myrtle Beach Insider crew just learned that Myrtle Beach Mayor, John Rhodes,
and the nutzo ringleader of the "Ban the Bikers" circus, Tom Rice-A-Cronie, just
returned from a secret fact-finding mission to Germany, where they and their
wacko delegation of fellow isolationists, met with former East German Soviet
border guards to gather first-hand information on how to
construct visitor-proof barriers, watch towers and guard houses; how to
profile those kind of motorcycle and other vacationers; how to train jack-booted crossing guards
and vicious attack poodles and to begin recruiting Gestapo-like cretans to man
their new Myrtle Beach Visitor Barricades at the new drawbridges.  The Myrtle Beach Insider crew hired a team of preschoolers to conduct a survey of members of the Myrtle Beach, Surfside Beach and North Myrtle Beach City Councils, along with the Horry County Council about their new No Visitors
policy. We chose preschoolers to conduct the study because their intelligence
level came the closest to mirroring those of the anti-motorcycle Council members and
their rabid, bug-eyed supporters. The results of the survey was best summed up by Mayor Rhodes when, after he finished soliciting everyone within a 100-yard radius about more funds for his
personal taxpayer honey pot, the infamous Beach Ball Classic, said, Sure
Myrtle Beach is in a recession, in fact, we're actually in a depression, but
we're politicians so we don't give a rat's patootie about business, we only care
about votes. Hell, we'd all sell our first born for a few votes, and if that
means killing the Myrtle Beach tourist industry in the process then thats just
tough toenail pal, so deal wid it Bro! This is absolutely one of the most moronic statements I have ever heard but the buttwipe is a politician so what do you expect.
Ah, and so the insanity continues on the Redneck Riviera!
|
